Vegan mayo and no fish tunafish

I turn to food when I am upset, but I prefer to cook and create something when my soul needs to be soothed; comfort foods that I used to eat as a meatatarian need to be replicated. I hardly ate tuna fish salad before because it was too difficult to keep fresh/spoils easily without a fridge, smelled potent ("oh you're having tuna today?" while the smell of fish cloys up your cubicle and you blush violently) and gave me ferocious heartburn.

These versions are easy to make, do not have a fish-in-your-face odor, and totally vegan. I made them both in an hour, only because I soaked the seeds for 15 mins instead of 4.  I never have all the ingredients and end up substituting out so many items that it really becomes my own, but here is the original:

http://www.theppk.com/2013/07/homemade-grapeseed-mayonnaise/.com.

I did not have grapeseed oil or whole almonds (I used almond meal).

I started off with 1/4 cup soy milk. Then I added 1.5 tablespoon of ground golden flax seed. I food processed them to death, as I want to blend the flax as well as I can. It still ended up visible in the end product though. I don't mind, I like texture anyways. Then I added a teaspoon of each: salt, onion powder, ground mustard powder and 2 teaspoons of Stevia (sugar). Mix or pulse those in for another couple seconds.

I mixed half vegetable and olive together to get 3/4 of a cup. Mix in slowly as you pulse, like a couple tablespoons at a time (recipe called for a cup, i got away with 1/4 less, and maybe more if I didn't have such a heavy hand, plus now in retrospect I might have used half a cup and added some water and a couple tablespoons of soy lecithin instead). Dribble, pulse and repeat until it starts forming into a gelatinous mass. Mine thickened pretty quickly, actually. It will get thicker once you set that bad boy in the fridge for a couple hours; let the flavors blend, mellow and rest while chilling because it does seem too salty right after whipping it up.

Original recipe for tuna: http://ohmyveggies.com/vegan-tuna-salad/

Now...for the tuna fish part. Soaked sunflower seeds (2 cups) and process it. It amazingly already looks like tuna fish!

Food process up a bunch of celery and some onions. I used bulb onions, but you can use red onions too. I also added a cup of almond meal and a splash of water. I put the nuts, meal, celery and onions in a bowl and mixed by hand.

The juice of a whole lemon finishes it.

The key to this recipe is in the mayo, as it magically fools the eyes and taste buds to believing its the real thing. I do feel better after whipping this up. I ate the plated sample (first pic of this blog) in 15 seconds or less after I snapped the shot.

Tempeh made fresh!

 I've been making tempeh lately. Its better for me and tastes so good. Dinner tonight was poached veggies, very simple Japanese style. The tempeh is pan fried with a little chipolte seasoning sprinkled on top.

For those who do not know, tempeh is an Indonesian fermented soy cake. It is mycelium mold that forms around the soybeans. You have to inoculate it with powdered tempeh starter, similar to how you have to use probiotics to make yogurt. The fermentation starter is called Rhizopus oligosporus and it likes a temperature of about 85-88 degrees Fahrenheit to mimic the natural ambient temperature, as in its native country it sits around and uses the natural heat of the day to incubate. Yes, inoculate and incubate, the food as of late. My husband is really freaked out about my recent food adventure, to say the least. 

Why do all this weirdness? Firstly, its better than tofu, which is really processed. Secondly, it can be controlled to be non-GMO and all natural, no emulsifiers or thickeners they use in tofu production. Thirdly, it tastes a thousand times better than tofu. Its a mild, mushroomy and meaty flavor that is very wonderful. Its really is amazing. I cant get over how good it is and how proud I am to be able to make this from scratch.

I like the smaller Korean soybeans (they sprout them) and get them for a dollar a pound at an Asian grocery store; the four pound bags cost me $3.99 plus tax. It makes 4 batches. The powdered tempeh starter was purchased from ebay for $6 USD; the vendor sent it in a regular letter, as it was a small 20 gram bag. Ive transferred it to a brown bottle to keep it fresh. If you keep it in the freezer it keeps it fresh too though, maybe I didn't need the bottle after all. Other than a saucepan, a measuring cup, teaspoon and tablespoon, a little thermometer (ambient, wall type. Costs $1 at walmart) and a couple quart sized baggies, its relatively low tech and easy once you get the hang of it.

Boil the beans 15 mins first. You want to loosen the hulls this way. I used to 12-24 hour soak method first, but this method works so much faster.

2 cups of beans dried. This makes two 12 oz bags of finished product.

Cool off those beans with some cold water. Youre gonna stick your hand in there and start squeezing and rubbing the beans to get the hulls off. The hulls are translucent.

The hulls start to float. You can skim them off by swishing the beans around and then using water to get them to rise and then drain the water off...they come right off. You have to do this several times; keep squeezing and rubbing them, then agitate them to get the hulls to float and then skim the water off.

Then, fill more water in the pot, like a couple inches above the line of the beans. Cook them all the way through, or about 45 more minutes. They should be soft enough to where you can eat them. Not al dente...you want them soft enough to eat normally.

Towel dry the beans. You want to remove the moisture. You can also use a hair dryer too. I like to use two towels. Lay them on one towel and dry, then transfer to a drier towel and do it again. They should cool off to below 85 degrees F or more.

While its drying off, you can poke holes in quart sized bags. I use two at a time. A bigger skewer is a nice size hole. it needs to be a little bigger to get good air circulation.

So this is inoculation time. Use two tablespoons of vinegar to lower the Ph...mix it well. You can use fresh lemon too. One teaspoon or (3-5 g) of tempeh starter gets mixed in well. Sprinkle a little and mix...sprinkle and mix...make sure it gets evenly distributed.

Ideal temperature is 86-88 degrees Fahrenheit. Too extreme in any direction will not yield a firm cake; it will be mushy, spoiled and smells funny if its too hot or cold. I have drawn sharpie marks of the zone it needs to stay in. It does not develop faster the hotter it is.

 

The trickiest part of this venture is finding a good spot that has a stable ideal temperature for at least 12-16 hours. I use the oven light to warm it up, but it does get too hot after 6 hours so I use a rolled up towel to crack the door open to get good ventilation.

It will look like nothing is happening for a long time and then BAM it starts to spore and develop a whitish haze, which will then keep developing and at this stage it actually even produces its own heat while fermenting. 

You have to make sure the temps can be lowered. I take it out of the oven at this point and use a shoe box on the counter top; the holes on the top of the Nike shoe box ventilates the internal heat from fermentation just the right amount. Again, you have to play around with the areas of your house and the incubation area. 

 

It looks like this after 24-30 hours. You will see tiny dark spots where you poked holes in the bags. It feels dense and solid and not movable at all. Put in the fridge to stop the fermentation process.

I slice it and place in an airtight container, ready to fry, bake, marinade, or whatever process to flavor and finish it. It is really so amazing and tastes so so so good!!!

evolve day 19: abominable agar cups

So I decide to make agar chia protein cups. Abomination of agar seaweed for a vegan 'gelatin' base mixed with chia gel and some scoops of whey protein powder. Agar agar is seaweed and vegan, unlike Jello or gelatin, which is boiled animal bones. 

This is one of my creations that shocks my husband; he says it does not look edible or appetizing at all. I have to agree a little bit; agar agar sets at room temperature, unlike gelatin, which needs to be chilled and kept cold in order to stay solid. The chia seed looks like tadpoles incubating in a petrie dish. The whey powder gives it a curdled appearance. 

I get the agar agar at the asian food store. I have been looking for powder agar agar for a while with no avail. It is the consistency of styrofoam, like a cheap beer cooler. The color is ghastly bright orange. 

I cut half off with scissors; 7 oz of dried seaweed agar is all I need for 4 cups of liquid. this liquid was 1 cup chia gel to 3 cups water. The chia gel is 1 cup water to 4 tablespoons seeds, soaked overnight. 

Tadpoles? No. Ch-ch-ch-CHIA!

Incorporate the agar agar into the boiling water and chia gel. It will melt in and the water will be thicker and colored dark and orange. 

Toss in four scoops of whey protein powder. I had to use the hand mixer because it didnt want to blend well at all; superchunk is not desireable. You want smooth. 

I poured the concoction into sillicone cupcake liners. Love these little sillicone cups so much. I use them for so many things. 

They dont need to be refridgerated, so they just hung out on my countertop until they set; they reached room temps in about an hour or so. Cool, because my refrigerator is so full. 

The agar agar has hardly any calories at all, and is fillling; if you have problems feeling hungry, agar agar is the way to go. It makes you feel full!

Did I scare you with this weird food? I didn't mean to, but they are odd little things. 

evolve day 17: prince of darkness or protein veggie meat?

When bad things happen, my mother used to say the devil is 'visiting' that household. Well, it's true; Seitan has come knocking on my door. 

Bad? What could be bad about a protein source derived from wheat? Vital wheat gluten. Ah ha! That material we demonize as GLUTEN. Yes it's true. It's the G-word. 

But wait! Don't discount this yet! The macronutrients are phenomenal 

Image is from honeyville.com's 3 lb. vital wheat gluten canister. It's only $12.99 + $4.99 flat ship fee! wheeeee!!!

Not bad eh? Even if G is the spawn of the devil for those with celiac sensitivity/allergies. For us who have jumped on the GF bandwagon for no other reason than carb watching or trying to get more veg in/less enriched flour than this might be a notable note! 

Firstly, boil up a veggie stock. I'm super lazy and used onion soup mix. 

Then, take a cup of VWG (vital wheat gluten) and spice it up. I used the recipe on Bob Mills VWG; onion powder, sage, marjorum and garlic powder. Take a cup of water and mix it in. Don't use too much water. The dough is gonna be super bouncy and brain-like. It was ugly, y'all. 

I cut into a dozen pieces and put in the boiling onion soup mix. 

Before. 

1 hour later it soaked up all the liquid and got huge! 

At this point you can use em as you wish...bake, broil, batter and fry, whatever. I've seen recipies for BBQ spare ribs made from VWG (ingenious!!!!) as well as burgers, meatloaf, stir fry etc...you get the picture. Very flexible and has a little more substantial gusto than soy and tofu. 

I decided to make Seitan Jerky! You know how I love my food

dehydrator! Put slices in baggie and toss up with teriyaki soy sauce. Cut into 1/4" slices and dry em out. 

Evolve detox forbids gluten. I am, yet again, violating the rules. But since it's not meat and am honoring my ethical vegan(no suffering moral code)...whatever. It's a violation. I beg you to forgive me, as I am SOY-ed to death! Tofu is so bland and not satisfying at all. Plus I am suspecting my recent bloated midsection to consuming way to much of one thing. Variety is healthy! 

Unless the evil G decides to stick it to my intestines, I will have to wait and see.

Do I need the rites of exorcism to remove the demons from my guts?

 We will see...

evolve day 16

Admittedly, Ive been messing up frequently on this detox. Hitting the almost halfway mark was the time of faltering. Not gonna lie, its been brutal. From a cupcake to a cup of coffee and now by-products from 'beta testing', I am not happy with my progress. 

The one thing I can claim is the removal of flesh and meat. I have not touched meat since that nasty egg roll at my niece's baby shower. I have not eaten fish, although I feel that if Jesus ate it then its okay. I am struggling with choosing VIshnu or JC right now. Should I eat egg, should I not eat egg. Should I eat dairy or not. Its a toss us, for real. If i eat fish its once a month. But its going against the grain of my beliefs of a world with no suffering.

Today is Lentil Redemption day. I made a huge pot of curried lentil stew. I plan to eat this and my magic muffins for the next two days or until I cook up something new. I may have a salad later, just to get some variety. 

Leeks, celary (whole thing) 10 oz brown lentils, 5 oz blackbeans (both raw) some evoo, 3 cubes of veggie boullion with 3 cups of water and hella seasonings: curry, cumin, greek, salt pepper corriander etc...

I did mention I am a curry freak? Oh yes.

Soak the beans overnight, then sautee leeks, add celary and water/boullion next..boil it...add beans and seasonings...boil it...and boil it...45 mins later you get this: 

Nutrients, protein, hella fiber and low carbs. Woo hoo!

But there is a backstory....these devilish little pastries that make me feel guilty.....the other day I made pao de quejiro (brazillian cheese bread) for my husband. I am in the process of 'veganizing' these, as they are simply wonderful. Flexible too, i added garlic powder and use parmesan cheese as well as regular shredded chedder. Ive made several batches this weekend, as he demanded them repeatedly!

Google up a recipe, they are all basically the same on the internet. Ive looked at half a dozen and picked the smallest batch. No wonder these are often made in double, triple batches, as they get gobbled up quickly!

1 cup tapioca flour. 1/2 cup milk, 1/4 oil, an egg and then cheese or whatever else next. 

You have to warm up the milk and oil together first to get them to 'bubble' and incorporate. I cheated and put the pyrex measuring up directly in the microwave at full power for 2 min. 

Then mix this liquids with just the tapioca.  Its gonna be sticky batter. Then add the egg. Obviously the milk will be almond for my upcoming vegan version. The egg, however is a levening and binding agent. Flax and chia did not work (it failed miserbly in my first attempt; gritty and ugly, they neither binded or leavened. I am looking at vegan wolf's website for suggestions. I have to mix oils, flour and baking powder to get a good combination...hold tight, its gonna be worth the wait and wasted ingredients)

Fold the cheese in. For a vegan version I have seen mashed potatos to replace the cheese. Will update as soon as I can experiment. Will use Nutritional Yeast here also. 

I used a well oiled baking muffin tins. These little devils are sticky and hard to manuver into the cups. Little tiny 1-1.5" balls.

They are not good for you. Ok. I know...but they are impressive. I had to, for the sake of experimentation, eat several to taste. My evolve detox is wrecked at this point but since Im going vegan (and am about 90% at this point) then who cares If i mess up).

My lentils will redeem me for today. Wholesome, innocent and righteous lentils will save me.